I  don't want to be your friend
by AAB
Summary: Mac lets her mouth run away with her. Can she fix the damage?


_Disclaimer: __None of the characters belong to me. Just playing with them_

**I don't want to be your friend **

_Set after "__Retrial"_

Colonel Sarah MacKenzie sat in her office. In spite of the pile of files on her desk her hands laid idle on her lap and she was staring aimlessly. Her thoughts were going back to the case she just ended. A case which had both annoyed and disgusted her. A bigamist, or better said, a quartogamist. And all of his wives full of love and devotion, willing to sacrifice themselves as long as it kept him out of jail. Where was their pride? And on top of it the creep had the nerve to tell her that was exactly what she wanted, too!

So engulfed she was in her thoughts, she didn't hear the knock on the door, nor did she see her coworker and friend Harmon Rabb poke his head around the door.

She jumped slightly when he said her name. He chuckled "Penny for your thoughts." She just shrugged and didn't answer. Without asking he sat himself on her visitor's chair. "Anything wrong?" She shook her head and randomly shifted some files over her desk, unable to say something.

"Hey," he said, reaching out with his hand and covering her small hand with his larger one. "Why don't you tell your best friend?"

Mac stiffened. "I don't want to be your friend" she blurted out.

Harm's arm fell dead besides his body and he paled. He rose to his feet, turned around and was out of the door before Mac could say anything more. It took her a second to react but then she was out of her chair as well and running towards her door but it was too late. Looking into the bullpen, she saw him being ordered into the admiral's office by petty officer Tiner.

Mac sat in her car, watching his windows. They still were dark, indicating he was not at home. She knew that, having tried knocking on his door several times in the previous hours and even using her spare key to let herself in to check, just in case he was in, but didn't want to open the door.

Her internal clock told her it was almost midnight. Maybe he was going to stay away all night. She should go home, try to get some sleep and talk to him in the morning. If, and that was a big 'if' he was willing to talk to her.

Not for the first time that evening she angrily wiped her eyes. Driving with a tear-blurred vision was a recipe for disaster,

Harm sat in his car, watching her windows. They still were dark, indicating she was not at home. He knew that, her car was not in his usual place, nor had a cab shown up.

He still felt numb, because of the blow her words had given him. She didn't want to be his friend. Checking his watch he realized it was almost midnight. Maybe she was spending the night elsewhere, with someone else. Sighing he started the engine and with a final look at her windows he whispered "Goodbye, Sarah."

The following morning Mac was early. After she cried herself to sleep, she had waken up a couple of time because of unsettling dreams and finally decided to have some breakfast, although her stomach was clenching with the thought of the coming day.

She checked Harm's schedule and knew she had to catch him before he was in court for the rest of the day. When he entered the bullpen his face was grim and he had an envelope in his hand. He made a b-line to Tiner and nearing them, she heard him ask whether the admiral had a moment for him. "I'm sorry, sir, the admiral isn't in yet," was the petty officer's answer. Turning around, Harm almost bumped into Mac. "Can… can I speak to you for a minuteoment?," she said, willing the nervousness out as her voice as much a she possible could. He didn't look happy to answer her request. "Please," she added, begging. She forced herself not to look at the envelop, knowing what was most likely in it: his request to a long TAD or even a reassignment.

Harm was about to refuse; her words the previous day had been more than enough, he did not need to hear any more, but as usual he could not resist her pleading brown eyes. Thinking about a place in the busy building where they could have some privacy he answered "All right, the old archive room at the third floor." With those words he turned around and disappeared into the elevator, motioning her with a nod of his head to follow him..

Two minutes later the two of them stood in the small dusty archive room.

Finally Harm brook the silence. "Well?" he said in a cold voice.

Mac looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Harm, I didn't mean it," she whispered.

"Didn't mean what? You sounded pretty clear to me yesterday." Behind the anger she could clearly hear the pain. "You don't want to be my friend. Well, Mac, tell me, what _do_ you want to be?"

"Your wife," she answered without thinking. "Or move in with you or your lover, or whatever you allow me to be."

His face paled frooze and the envelop he still held fell from between his suddenly powerless fingers to the floor.

"I don't want to be just your friend; I want so much more. I had that case of that bigamist this week. Morris Renfield, he has 4 wives, they all loved him so much they didn't mind the others." Mac knew she was rambling, but she needed to tell him, needed to make him understand.

"He kept telling me that he knew I had 'been hurt' and kept asking me whether I didn't want to be loved that way. I hated him for asking that because I knew he was right. I want someone, not just someone but you, only you, to love me, to come home to, to be with, to make me feel worthwhile." At those last words her voice broke. "I love you, Harm."

It took him just one long step to stand before her and take her in his arms, burying his face in her hair. "But Mac, don't you know you mean the world to me? I love you, so damned much, and when you said those words to me, yesterday, it was like I died inside." He backed off just enough to look her in the eyes and repeated "I love you" before he closed his lips around hers, while she wrapped her arms around him.

They stood like that for several moments until they were interrupted by an angry and confused voice "What the h*** is going on?"

Harm and Mac jumped aside, trying to straighten their uniforms and come to attention in the same time.

"We are going to be married, Sir," Harm declared.

"Oh, you are! I don't see a ring on the colonel's finger," the admiral stated sarcastically, inwardly scolding himself for his stupid comment.

"There will be one tomorrow morning, Sir," Harm countered. The admiral heard the sharp intake of breath by Mac and he intercepted her look to Harm, so full of love and devotion it made him feel like a peeping Tom.

"My office, in 30 minutes," he grumbled to hide his embarrassment.

Harm and Mac stood to attention once again. "Aye aye, Sir," they said in unison.

After the admiral had closed the door behind him, Harm pulled Mac into his arms once more.

"That gives us time for one more of these," he declared before lowering his lips unto hers.

The end


End file.
